time

So I ended up going to everything but the Elizabethans. I intend to go to an Elizabethans concert before I graduate.

10:52 pm and I haven't started my work for the weekend. I only have a Russian essay due tomorrow but things will start to pile up on Tuesday and Wednesday.

Arguably I have been extremely irresponsible. The main reason I haven't done any work is because I have taken advantage of each successive opportunity to do something social. I might as well count going to recitals as something social; even though I enjoy listening to the performances, I attend primarily in support of friends. I spent a long time last night keeping someone company in the art studio when I probably should have been working, I went to the NBC show on Friday and then a friend's birthday party, I spent this morning at the jewboard brunch...I prioritized everything ahead of work. When I had a break between recitals, I sat around with other people in the music lounge who were half-dead from all the recitals instead of taking an hour here and there to do some reading. I just spent a couple of hours at Teng Jian's dinner party and now I'm writing in my flippin blog.

Though I'll be royally screwed over the next few days as the pile engulfs me, I am somehow happy right now. I've skipped recitals in the past because of work and it has never made things that much better for me. I suppose in the future it would be best to achieve some sort of balance. It would also be nice if not everyone had their recitals on the same weekend. Just saying!

I think I might have lost my last smidge of self-discipline. I assume that this is a phase and it will return to me at some point in the future. I'm certain that I'll get it back in St. Petersburg. Just a phase.

I'm just not sure if I'd want to miss everything that's going on around me for the sake of being on top of my work. Maybe my work doesn't really matter. I know my work will start to matter more some time in the future, but at this point in the semester, if I can pull off decent grades, it might not worth it to put everything into classes. None of my classes have clicked like my history class last semester, for which I worked during all of my spare moments.

Perhaps this is my fault. Distractions have been plentiful in the last few months, most of them wholly self-inflicted. You get what you put in, yes? So, my fault. But maybe I'm getting more out of the other things that I didn't put so much into before.

On the nights that I have the opportunity to sleep for a decent amount, I often find myself staying up just as late. It just seems like a shame to have such a short day.

I understand that this is absurd.