back in the US

Home from Russia...going to take a break from blogging for a bit. I guess I'll write some from Mystic, the maritime studies program I'll be doing next semester. For the next few weeks I'll just be vegetating in Niskayuna, probably not much interesting will be happening.

parked cars

The thing to do in Russia seems to be sitting in your parked car with a friend, beer, cigarette, or any combination. For the first few weeks, I was alarmed and concerned whenever I walked by such parked cars. It seemed a bit like the sitters were lying in wait, about to do something unspeakable. But now I believe that they are just chilling.

I'm really not sure why this is a thing in Russia. Perhaps a parked car is the warmest option in the winter and they just do it year round? Sitting on benches or loitering on street corners are also popular activities, but less surprising to see.

The other thing is that the parked cars are often on the sidewalk. So there have been times when I've moved off the road to avoid the cars pointed at me with their brights only to find myself nose to nose with a car pointed at me with its brights. So I usually try to find a place on the sidewalk that would be difficult for a homicidal car to navigate.

We finished finals and classes today. So now we have all of tomorrow to loiter around the city, pack and etc. before flying off Sunday morning.

Museum of the Arctic and Antarctic

I finally got to the Museum of the Arctic and Antarctic. It was pretty nice...Arctic on the first floor, Antarctic on the second. Everything was in Russian, and while I've built a decent vocabulary in the fields of churches, wars, and old buildings, the polar expedition lingo was beyond me. But it was nice to have a walk around the city by myself. (No one else wanted to see the Museum of the Arctic and Antarctic.) I poked my head into some restaurants, walked by the Dostoevsky House again, through an outdoor market, and along the canal. I think I needed some alone time with the city so that I could move at my own arbitrary pace. A break from running ideas by the group.

I read a while back, I think in Time, that several countries have been bickering over rights to the North Pole as the ice cap melts and trade passages open. Walking around the museum, I started to get a feel for the Russian perspective of this issue. It seems that most of the Russian polar expeditions were during Soviet times and a real source of nationalistic pride. In fact, aside from stuffed polar bears and penguins, perhaps the most notable aspect of the museum was the proliferation of Soviet symbolism and propaganda (not that it can't be found elsewhere in the city). I know that the US claims a stake to the territory, I guess just because we bought Alaska. I just wonder if anyone in the US, politicians or anyone else, actually cares. Not that we should just give the North Pole to Russia. I just wonder if anyone cares. Hopefully whoever gets it doesn't use it as a nuclear testing site.

early Saturday

Found a place last night near home, an outdoor cafe by the waterfront. Featuring a two-man band and some tipsy dancing Russians. I went with the neighbors...by neighbors, I mean, people in our program who live nearby. On the island. It was a perfect solution, because I was feeling antsy and really wanted to get off the island, but no one else really did, and I didn't feel like venturing out by myself. But we found a new place! There's really not that much to do close to home aside from sitting on the beach or in the park, which is fun, but not something I want to fall back on every night. So now we have somewhere cheap to hang out if we want.

I'm up early because I'm going to the synagogue this morning. I'll probably play my fiddle for a while after that and then...I don't have a plan to hang around with anyone in the afternoon, so I think it will be a good point in the trip to visit the Museum of the Arctic and Antarctic. I haven't tried to convince anyone else to go and I think I'd rather not.

My host sister, Наташа Natasha, is back from her trip to Egypt. I'm really hoping she notices that I'm more coherent after ten more days of studying, if, in fact, I am.

Synogogue, cucumbers

I'm eating a cucumber that I think is from the дача dacha. I've been finding cucumbers in the fridge and on the table. If I don't keep up, they accumulate, so I've been eating them at odd hours.

We visited the Grand Choral Synagogue on Tuesday. It was surprisingly light...especially after seeing so many orthodox churches which all share a certain architectural style, necessary to support onion domes, which results in a rather dim setting. After the tour, I found a store that sells kosher food, including kosher meat. This was a great triumph...I bought some beef jerky. Apparently, there's a kosher restaurant nearby which I didn't bump into, but maybe I'll have a chance to go back.

With only a week and a half left, people are starting to get antsy about cramming in as many things as possible before our departure. Actually, I don't know if anyone but myself feels this way, but I assume they do. Anyway, I'm determined to have some sort of activity after school tomorrow...restaurant, bar, or museum. Or even just park sitting somewhere in the city center. It's easy to fall into the trap of walking home after school, doing homework, and then being too tired to leave the island. Takes some effort.

On the way home from the museum, I sat with a few people in a park/square with a statue of Rimsky-Korsokav. He's got quite the beard. It's nice to be in a place where around any corner, there's a good chance of happening upon a statue of a famous composer. Or more likely, Lenin.

Новгород aftermath

Internet is back at home! Hooray! I just returned from our trip to Новгород Novgorod and had some dinner. It was fun and successful trip...not quite so far away as Псков Pskov, so the bus ride was less sweaty, and we are back in time for the evening to function as an evening.

Saturday was spent on a very long tour of the city, which made the rounds to all of the historic monuments and churches. Definitely the highlight for me was a dip in Река Волхов the Volkhov River! A very rapidly flowing river indeed.

This morning, we visited a monastery located fifteen minutes from the city center next to a lake. One of the monks gave us a quick tour of their main church and moved us along to the exit. I really liked it there...though perhaps the flowers die and shrivel after the summer, I'm sure the winter is idyllic in its own dark and frigid way. I guess I don't really have any interest in becoming an Orthodox monk, though, so they'll probably never let me visit for more than a few minutes.

I've been practicing (violin) more lately. A few days after I started playing on the street, I began to look at some new Bach, and now, all of the sudden, I've been practicing regularly. Funny how quickly one can snap back into old habits. Must be like hell to quit something that's chemically addictive.

в Новгород to Novgorod

Tomorrow morning, we will pile on to a bus for our trip to Новгород Novgorod, a very old city south of St. Petersburg. So I won't have internet for the weekend, but that won't be so noticeable as it might have been before.

Yesterday, I went on a run for a couple of miles. I finished at around 10:00, used the bathroom, then realized that I ought to run some more. So I ran to visit three friends on the next island, called Petrograd, and we sat next to a canal and played a Russian card game that we all only sort of know how to play. They only live a few miles away, but it takes a while to walk and requires a metro transfer, so I tend to hang around with my neighbors instead. But running, it only takes 25 minutes. So I think I'll try that again some time.

наталья Natalia, my host mother, is beginning to trust me a bit with the house. I was allowed to help with dishes the other day. And she leaves me home more often now...she's not around very much between trips to the dentist and the дача dacha, summer house. So now, whenever she's gone for a few days, I'm supposed to call her in the evening and say how my day went and confirm that no one robbed the house.

I found myself starting to plan the two weeks that I'll have at home after I get back. Strange to think that we'll be wrapping things up soon. I'm going to try to get some recipes from наталья Natalia to take home and to school.

busking

Posting again from school! In a little bit we are leaving for an excursion to the Alexander Nevsky Monastery. I'm hoping that they will be selling a copy of the movie "Alexander Nevsky"...I remember it being hard to find in the states.

I think I may have finally found an area of the city that works for students. It is tricky to find places that aren't expensive and fancy, and at the same time, not chains from the US, here. So it has taken a bit of exploring and investigation to find the right balance. After today's excursion, I'm planning to go with a couple people to a cafe a few blocks off of the main street.

I mentioned in the last post that I've been playing violin for money. This has turned out to be a good decision not only because I have some extra cash, but also, people come up and talk to me all of the time. For the first time, I've gotten to talk rather extensively with people who don't speak any English. Most of my encounters with Russians have been with people in the service industry or academia, and most of these people have been multilingual to some extent. So I've been setting up next to my metro, in a largely residential area, and people pass me by on their way home from work or whatever. Some people request certain songs, one fellow gave me a CD of himself, and lots of people want to know where I'm from.

If anyone thinks of anything I should buy here, tell me so! It will be too late once I leave in three weeks. It gets legit dark around 1am these days...strange.

internet gone again

Internet is gone again...which explains the prolonged silence of this blog. I'll try to post when I can, but I'd really rather not spend any of my time in Russia in the McDonald's, the most reliable source of wireless. But internet will probably return to my apartment soon, it always does, I just don't know when.

I'm making lots of money playing violin on the street!

home alone

Quick post because I have a bunch of work to do. It's 1am and fairly dark out. I've been watching the White Nights fade, but in the last couple of days it has been particularly noticeable.

I'm home alone again, a relatively frequent occurrence. My host mom Наталья Natalia is at the дача dacha, or summer house, and Наташа Natasha is either working late or with Саша Sasha, I'm never sure which.

My situation seems to be fairly unique. Most people in the program are doing their best to accommodate host moms who need to always know when they will be home, what they are doing, and etc. Наталья Natalia is also this way, but she's just not there a good chunk of the time. So I come and go as I please.

We watched the bridges go up again this weekend. At around 1:30am, all of the bridges over Река Нева the Neva River go up to let ships through. The bridges and buildings along the shore are illuminated against the fading natural light, creating a surreal and unforgettable effect. On a Saturday night, the streets are packed with people watching the bridges and street performers, moving between clubs, and soaking in the fleeting warmth of summer.

mall & jazz

I just returned from a long trip to the mall. The mall is not so different from American malls. However, I'm glad that most of my day was spent at a mall because we were with some Russian friends. For those interested in precision and accuracy, our group consisted of two Americans, one Israeli, and two Russians. I definitely would not have wanted to be there otherwise, but I managed to have some conversations, so it was worth it.

Anyhoo. I didn't buy anything except for a snackeroo (блины blini), mainly because the prices were about the same as American prices. It's hard to know whether things here are going to be ridiculously inexpensive...or not. For example, restaurant food is always cheap while some groceries (nuts, vegetables) are about the same. I also couldn't find any particularly Russian clothing, which is the only thing I had much interest in.

I'm trying to get people, not too many people, to go to a jazz club tonight. The main challenge when organizing anything is that many of us are housebound until our host mothers feed us dinner.

My parents are in Moskow now, I assume. They are supposed to return tonight some time around midnight. I hope they do!

Tomorrow, we are going to the баня banya. The girls went last week. I won't go into too many details based on my second-hand information, but I hear it's a riot. So I'll have a report by my next post, but probably without pictures. (Because we will all be naked.)

I'm listening to some music that I bought! Two CDs of folk music, some of which we sing in choir. The saleslady didn't speak any English, which was great for me because usually Russians with a bit of English want to practice their English. I cheated a bit by humming the songs I wanted.

Putin is going to be here tomorrow! There is a big tall ship regatta. I mean a big (tall ship) regatta. I'm going to try to hear him speak, or at least see him saunter around.

internet is back!

for now, anyway. It's raining here, as it often does. A rather wet city, at least in the summer - built on a swamp at the watershed of a river, full of canals, bridges, and lots of rain. Right now there's a sort of drizzle, but it often falls in buckets.

Another strange thing is that it's actually dark now, a few minutes after midnight. This is not really because the white nights are fading, which they are, but mainly because of the dark rain clouds. But yes, there is now a solid hour or two of darkness some time around 3am. A little sad, but I guess I'm spoiled.

So my parents are here. I ate with them this afternoon at a пельмени pelmeni restaurant. A small place close to Эрмитаж Hermitage on a side street. I found it in Lonely Planet. The menu was all "authentic" Russian food except for a few token American items. And I suppose the Finnish soup that I ordered was not authentic Russian. Anyway, it was all very delicious. As usual, I had a confrontation with the waitress which consisted of her refusing to speak Russian and me refusing to speak English. It's a tricky situation because they really do want to practice their English. Most Russians that I've encountered can get around in English but are far from fluent. It's really strange to realize that in certain situations, I might know enough Russian for it to be more efficient for everyone than English.

For the record, my first attempt to write "soup" in the previous paragraph came out as "soop".

My parents are here until Sunday or Monday. They're taking the train to Moscow on Friday night for a visit. It's rather difficult to keep track of them, mainly because they can't sound out things written in Russian because they can't read the Cyrillic alphabet so they are usually not able to tell me where they are. And I guess I should mention that they're here as tourists mostly, obviously timed to coincide with my trip. I had lunch-dinner (dunch) with them and two friends (Ariel and Zach) yesterday afternoon, which was dandy.

I'm having lots of fun in choir. Most people don't come anymore because they are bored or uninterested, but a few of us still do, and we're learning lots of Russian folk songs! I'm going to try to find some recordings to bring back.

So if the posts abruptly end again, it's because the internet is so sketch. I want to write about Эрмитаж Hermitage which we visited a few days ago, but I really need to do work now, so I'll save it.

internet is gone!

which is why I haven't been posting. It might come back though...I'm just not sure when. Anyway, all continues to be well, I won't write now thought because I'm at school.

an exploratory initiative

I was sitting in my room just now and I started flipping through the Lonely Planet that I tossed into my luggage at the last minute. I quickly realized that the time has come to be a tourist as well as a student.

To be fair, I have been doing plenty of touring. Lots of churches, all of the cultural hot spots, and the like. But all of those things are with Smolny and the group. Also, they're all in a sort of similar vein. The churchy vein.

So now that I have my bearings in the city and a relatively concrete understanding of public transport, I can start to explore. Exploration will begin...tomorrow! I tried to get a couple of people go go exploring tonight, true to my form of getting ridiculously excited about my latest thought and tossing everything else out the window in reckless pursuit. My social targets both calmly explained to me that it's kind of late, everyone is pooped, and we could do something fun tomorrow.

Just to clarify, by "exploration" I mostly mean finding some of the cafes, parks, and concert venues, and whatever else Lonely Planet talks about. Really, I just want to do some more things that aren't in the schedule they gave us.

Also, I'm becoming friends, I guess, with Саша Sasha, the boyfriend. By becoming friends, I mean he's always happy to see me and always tries to feed me alcohol and helps me with Russian pronunciation. A jovial fellow. He told me he could show me around the city if there's anything I'd like to see or do. I told him I'd like to do whatever he does with his friends, a suggestion that made Саша Sasha laugh hysterically. But I think after regaining some composure, he agreed to my proposition.

We're having a 4th of July picnic on Sunday, the 5th of July, and then we're going to a баня banya!

The last few days have been mostly consumed by homework. This isn't so bad because I've founds some homework buddies, a development which perhaps explains why the last few days have been mostly consumed by homework.

Псков Pskov and the beach

So now it's the night after we got back from Псков Pskov. I just spent a while at the beach with Olivia, my neighbor, watching and taking pictures of the sunset. The beach is really quite lovely, littered with broken glass, cigarettes, slabs of concrete, and empty alcohol bottles. Basically what I envisioned when I found my apartment building on google maps a few weeks ago and noticed that it was next to the beach. I'm just glad that we were allowed to get right up to the waterfront, though we weren't allowed onto the sandbar where we could have found some nice views.

I feel the need to clarify that the previous paragraph was not at all sarcastic - it was basically what I expected, and it was lovely. Lots of people were there, too, enjoying the midnight sun.

My understanding is that we caught a glimpse of the open horizon of the Gulf of Finland from the concrete slab on which we sat. Much of the east side of the Gulf is fresh water because Река Нева the Neva River flows so vigorously. Also the reason why this side of the Gulf is fairly polluted.

So our trip to Псков Pskov was lots of fun. At least I thought so. The concensus of a good chunk of the group was that it was pointless to drive so far, somewhere between 5 and 6 hours, for such a short amount of time to a city where there wasn't much to do. But I think everyone had a good time anyway, and some people even had a good time complaining about not having a good time.

There was a whole lot of rain on Saturday night. Lots and lots of rain. Most of the streets were flooded and some cars were stuck in giant puddles. Everyone got soaked. Part of the problem was that the sidewalks were close to the road and then cars would drive by and send a fresh surge of water at our feet.

After navigating the worst of the storm to and from a restaurant, people somehow had the stamina to go out later. Some people went to a concert and the others, myself included, went to a club. This was an interesting experience - not something that I do much in America, let alone Williamstown, but I'm glad I went, if only to say that I was at a club in Псков Pskov. We stayed for a good while. I was in support of staying for a good while because we had paid to get in, something that I had great difficulty coming to terms with. Though not nearly so traumatic as when I had to pay to use the bathroom in Петергоф Peterhof. Oy!

Sunday was spent being bussed around to various monastaries and churches - all Orthodox, so far as I could tell. Sadly, I don't know where we actually were, because we were spoken to in Russian for the duration of the trip.

I think if I ever return to Russia, I'd like to live in the countryside. Perhaps not one of the places we visited, because they seem to be operate largely as receptacles of tourists. Certainly, most of these tourists seemed sincere and not obnoxious. But anyway, though I'm glad I'm in this program and living in St. Petersburg, there's a whole lot of Russia that I'll never see if I stay in the cities.

The long bus rides there and back were really interesting. Once St. Petersburg disappered, we didn't see cities of any magnitude for the whole way. For long stretches, the road was surrounded by trees punctuated by clearings, some small houses, some villages. You can see some agriculture in a couple of my pictures from the top of a tower.

That's all for now, time to get some sleep!

Also, my vocab blitz is continuing to improve my life and communication, which makes me very happy.

nap and the boyfriend

This afternoon, I had a three and a half hour nap. I really wanted to go with everyone to the museum of Rasputin’s penis, but I’m glad I took the time to recharge. Sometimes when I take an afternoon nap, it’s hard to get to sleep and there’s a chance that I’ll just waste a lot of time just trying to get to sleep. This afternoon, I had no such trouble.

Tomorrow we are going to Псков Pskov! This is a very old city near the border with Estonia, built in the tenth century AD, that has seen many different inhabitants of various cultures. I'm really looking forward to the five hour drive tomorrow morning because I haven't yet seen any of the Russian countryside!

Tonight, I met some people (including some of our tutors - Russians!) at Московская площадь Moskovskaya Square, home of a 16 m. tall statue of Lenin and lots of fountains. I asked one of the tutors, Марина Marina, and she said it was an excellent and relatively safe place to play my violin for some cash. So I think I will!

I've decided that my Russian is not improving quickly enough. There are some things that I've definitely learned that I wouldn't have at home - practical words that are necessary here. But I would have more fun and communicate more effectively with a bigger vocabulary. And then being in Russia at all will be more worthwhile. It's been two weeks and I think it's time to be a bit less passive in my approach to learning the language.

So I've returned to my flashcard regimen, basically moving through new words whenever I have spare time, on the bus, in my room, sometimes when I'm walking. It still feels like relaxing, especially since I'm not really being tested on the words. And I've already started to find opportunities to use the new ones in conversation. Not difficult to do, since I only know about fifty words to begin with...or so it seems whenever I try to communicate anything.

It is a fine balancing act to get the most out of the program. The last thing I want to do is isolate myself from the group and study all of the time. Anyway, I could do that in Niskayuna. But even if I go out with Russians and talk with them all the time, I won't progress as quickly as if I have some time to myself to drill words and grammar. Also, there's the danger of becoming reliant on ways to get around words that I don't know or concepts that I haven't internalized.

So I'll see how this approach goes. If nothing else, it's fun to have my vocabulary expanding.

Breaking news: I just met the boyfriend! Ура Huzzah! He (Саша Sasha) and Наташа Natasha, my host sister, just came home with lots of groceries and a backpack. They are going hiking tomorrow! Саша Sasha is very nice, somewhat drunk, and talked with me for a good while just now.

I'm slowly breaking the ice with Наташа Natasha. It's hard for me to remember how amusing it must be for her when I try to make sentences in Russian. She studies English at the university but is very nice about not getting frustrated and just telling me whatever she's trying to tell me in English.

We won't get back from Псков Pskov until Sunday evening (Sunday morning at home) so I won't write until then. Here are the lyrics to the excellent song I'm listening to right now.

bridges

Missed last night because the internet was down. No catastrophe because it was just about a normal day. Today and yesterday I’ve been walking a good deal. I walked home from school yesterday, and today I walked both ways. Later today, Ariel and I met some people from the program and their neighbors at a bar which we also walked home from. So today, I walked more than seven miles!

We intentionally stayed out late enough to watch the bridges go up, photos of which are in this album. The bridges go up every night, and so those of us on islands (most of us) have to be home before then unless we want to stay out until early in the morning. A bit inconvenient, but on the bright side, we get to watch the bridges go up!

Our homework load has increased considerably. It’s not much more difficult, but very time consuming. The type of drilling that is monotonous but I suppose will make it so that I never, ever, ever, ever forget certain things.

I suspect that if we stopped reviewing things and started to include some new material, the concepts that we’re going over now would still be seared into my brain. It’s not as if familiarity and facility with the basics is not necessary for the more complicated subjects. But it’s only been a little over a week, and perhaps I am impatient.

On our way home from watching the bridges go up, we stopped at Лента Lenta, the 24-hour supermarket on the way home. I really wanted to buy lox. Instead, I branched out and bought some kind of pickled fish, or fish in some kind of liquid, the type that Стас Stas, our Russian TA from Williams, would make us eat. I figure I'll buy lox when I'm a few more weeks in and having culture shock.

They tell me that I'll have culture shock, that everyone does. I believe them, but I kind of want to just have it and get it over with. I definitely don't have culture shock now; I'm still enamored by just about everything Russian, even the things that seem like a pain. These things include not being able to use a credit card, restricted access to bridges when we need them most urgently, public transportation that only sporadically announces where it is about to stop. None of these things bother me! I think regular readers of this account will know when I have culture shock. I'm told it's inevitable.

I watched the sun set and rise in the last couple of hours. It was a bit cloudy, and therefore almost dark at one point.

Петергоф Peterhof and today

Петергоф Peterhof was very nice. Much of the morning was spent in cold wind, but the day was clear so it warmed up quickly. We went on a long and boring tour of the bathhouse, given entirely Russian and consequently understood by few (Americans). However, I think it was mainly boring because our guide seemed to have been giving the same tour for the last forty years, every day. On the bright side, we got to wear fun plastic shoe slippers to protect the floor. You can see the slippers in this picture.
After the tour, we were free to wander around for a long while. The gardens really are spectacular. There are fountains everywhere. The property is on the shore of the Gulf of Finland. I think it was nice for the group to have a break from the city, public transport, and homework. Perhaps such repose is just what Peter the Great had in mind when he built the place.

Of all my photos thus far, these (starting halfway through album 6) are the ones that I can't really capture in words and, accordingly, might deserve a gander. Here is one of the main palace and fountains.I walked home from class again today. A healthy thirty minute trot that made me feel better about everything. I stopped on the way at the supermarket so that just in case I needed something in a pinch I would be familiar with the layout and etc. It was really quite interesting! Many similarities to supermarkets I've seen before, of course. Meats and other frozen goods were in open-air freezers for people to sneeze in. The alcohol section took up several full-length aisles. I've never seen so many different kinds of vodka. This is perhaps irrelevant considering that I've never been in a liquor store for more than 30 frantic seconds. There is also a vast selection of sausages.

I walked around for a while without buying anything and I managed to set off an alarm on my way out. This concerned me somewhat because a) I hadn't allocated time in my day for arrest and detention and b) I was wearing a rather full and perhaps suspicious-looking backpack. Everything was fine, though. Someone came over, asked me a few questions, and told me to go away. I happily complied.

I mailed some postcards today! It turned out to be much less expensive than I had anticipated, only a couple of dollars for eight.

No pictures until later because Michelle has my camera for some reason.

Алые паруса Scarlet Sails

So...Алые паруса Scarlet Sails was unlike anything I've experienced first-hand. The entire city became crazy, all at once. People chugging alcohol in the streets, the bridges jammed with people, fights, singing, broken glass. After eating out, (I ate a very delicious salmon and mushroom thing and drank some beers), we wandered up and down Невский проспект Nevsky Prospect for a while, collecting members of our group. As the sun set, slowly, the streets became increasingly packed and boisterous.

Then it started to rain. Suddenly and vigorously. Though we had some umbrellas to share, everyone became thoroughly soaked. There was no hope of coverage because the areas under awnings and large trees had been quickly filled by omniscient locals. So we scuttled along the canal towards the Нева Neva, to where everyone seemed to be headed, trying to avoid both large puddles and large intoxicated men.

The rain really didn't put a damper (ha! ha!) on the experience. We've come to expect the weather to be supremely erratic. Even more so than, yes, New England. And after twenty minutes or so of intense precipitation, it began to let up, and within thirty minutes, the skies had cleared entirely.Not until we reached the Нева Neva and its bridges could we appreciate the magnitude of the occasion. Fireworks and other antics were scheduled for the wee hours of the morning and beyond, so this was the area most densely packed with humans. The glow of the midnight sun eked over the horizon and the buildings on the banks of the river were lit elegantly for the occasion.Those of us living on василевский остров Vasilievsky Island began to make our way back home by around 2. We needed to meet outside of эрмитаж The Hermitage at 9:30 the next morning...and I don't think anyone was too interested in staying awake for much longer. Happily, by this point our clothes had dried completely! So we moved home, slowly, en masse, meeting each other along the way.

This morning, particularly in hindsight, was amusing. Most of us were hung over and few had slept for more than four or five hours. Somehow we all made it to our rendezvous by around 9:30. Оля Olya, the cultural director, shoved us all onto the ferry and we passed out as we zipped across the Нева Neva to Петепгоф Peterhof. I think I'll write about today in a separate post. Album 6 has pictures of both today and yesterday.

up late

I have lapsed in my efforts to reform vaguely sworn-off habits. Rather, I am currently lapsing as I watch the sun rise out my window. Anyone who really cares can calculate the time change. HOWEVER I have literally no responsibilities or plans for tomorrow, so whenever I happen to wake up, I will work on homework, relax, etc. I actually might have a plan to go rollerblading with one of the tutors and whomever else she invites.

This morning on my way to the bus stop (about 50 meters from my front door) I realized that I had forgotten my keys. At first, this didn't seem like a problem, but after thinking for a couple seconds, I realized that it was actually a very big problem and I needed to fix it. With no other real option since I couldn't get back into the building, I called Наталя Natalia to explain to her my silly situation. I felt bad about the whole thing because I didn't want to make her stop whatever she was doing just because I can't remember the three things I need for the day. On the bright side, I had a full telephone conversation in Russian.

Of course, this means I didn't actually know what was said. But I said something about waiting by the door, and she enthusiastically affirmed my guess (Да! Да!). So I was standing by the door, and all of the sudden, Наталя Natalia started yelling at me from out the fifth-floor window. I had barely realized what was happening when she tossed the key into the bushes next to me, safely wrapped in a plastic sandwich bag. I yelled, Спосибо! Thanks! and scurried off to my bus.

I think my medium-sized test today went well. Of course, I always think this about tests, while the actually results tend to vary wildly. So we will see.

I'm starting to feel more comfortable around people, in class, and the like. I realized this because about 15 minutes before lunch, after two hours and 45 minutes of class, I started complaining (in Russian) about how there was no food in my stomach, I needed to eat so as to not die, I was very hungry. This wasn't as disruptive as it sounds; the class had entered a sort of free-conversation phase. Anyway, the point is that I'm finding some kind of comfort zone. It really is a friendly group.

After classes and about an hour of sitting around, a group of us walked to a store that sells notebooks, other school supplies, DVDs, and all sorts of other things. I bought a miniature notebook (smaller than a wallet) to write down new words that I learn outside of class. Ariel has one and his vocabulary is about twelve times larger than mine, so I think I might benefit from imitating him. Or at least adopting some of his habits.

I walked all the way home from Smolny today...by myself! It was probably my first entirely solo excursion, and also the first time I walked home. Not really a very long walk, but fun to look around the neighborhood, take some pictures, stop every few blocks to double check the map.

Tonight we (the entire group) met at Мариинский театр Mariinsky Theatre. We watched and listened to a performance of Tchaikovsky's Евгений Онегин Eugene Onegin. I really enjoyed it. I had never heard the music before, nor have I ever listened to a Tchaikovsky opera. The theatre is beautiful and we had nice box seats. The plot, originally written by Пушкин Pushkin, is perfect for opera: a love triangle, some crossfire, a murder, and a touch of irony.

After the opera, Ariel and I sat for a long time and ate cheap sushi with Ilana, an American, an '08 college grad, who now teaches English. We met her on the escalator and she lives near our metro stop. I have permanently learned the word for salmon! (Лосось.) This is a very important word.

Pictures of the theatre, my walk, and the movie theatre from yesterday.

movie and fiasco

Today a large (~8) group of us went to the movies to see The Hangover, a dumb American movie. It was dubbed in Russian which made it much funnier. I understood very few complete sentences, but maybe one word of every six, which pleased me. I'm feeling a bit better about the whole language thing. So far, there have been days during which everything I've ever learned seems to flow freely out my ears and nostrils, and then others, like today, during which my brain is much more absorbent. I hear the Verbs of Motion constantly and I think they are finally starting to sink in.

Tomorrow we have our first medium-sized test. I think it will be fine, but never having had a medium-sized test here, there's no way to know for sure. So I'll study a bit more before sleep.

Before the movie I decided to buy some жетоны metro tokens so I would have a small collection to use for the next few days. I walked up to the desk, handed the lady 50 рублей rubles, and asked for три жетона three tokens. The lady looked at me expectantly and I stared back. She waved 10 рублей rubles at me and I shook my head. У меня нет мелось! I don't have change!

I should mention that in Russia, everyone (myself included) competes to hoard small change. Large bills can be a problem in the US, but in Russia, they are fairly useless save for touristy places or nicer restaurants. So I figured the problem was that she wanted me to pay in tens so she wouldn't have to make change. I really didn't want to do this because I was hoarding my tens, and it didn't seem unreasonable for her to give me the 20 рублей rubles one way or another. After all, her job is to stand there taking people's tens all day. So I put on my stubborn face.

Then she started waving 50 рублей at me! This seemed very strange to me. How would it be helpful for me to give her another 50 рублей? I concluded that the token-giving lady must be crazy. Or crooked. Having had enough nonsense for one conversation, I said, Дайте мне мои деньги, пожалуйста! Give me my money, please! Exasperated, she slid my money under the window. I snatched it away and scurried off, без жетонов tokenless.

On my way to meet Ariel, I remembered that tokens are 20 рублей each, not 10. This is why the token-giving lady wanted 10 рублей, because I had only given her 50. I could only laugh at the sheer absurdity of the situation I created and be thankful that there wasn't a long line forming behind me. And that she didn't call the police.

Call it culture shock, call it something I might have done in America. Perhaps I should celebrate the fact that I was able to complete a perfectly nonfunctional exchange with no real language difficulty! Oy.

a damp day

It's only a few minutes after 11pm, but I'm very tired. This morning, I had my first rushed morning.

I was rushin'! Ho ho.

Anyway...наталя Natalia left breakfast for me because she had a doctor's appointment. I knew this was the plan, which is probably why I wasn't able to gather the strength of will to pry myself out of bed. I was able to make it to the bus just in time, and everything was OK.

Not that this type of morning is anything new to me, but I'm a bit surprised that it happened, only because I've been getting much more sleep than I did during the semester. Seven hours last night! I think the real problem is that every few hours I open my eyes as the sun glares in my window. Tonight is very cloudy, so perhaps this will be less of an issue.

Today is cold, windy, and rainy. My friend Olivia and I took the bus home from Smolny after courses. Sadly, we got off the bus at the wrong stop and had to walk a few blocks to our apartments. Coincidentally, the same thing happened this morning; we made it to class just in time after 15 minutes of power-walking.

This recurring problem is partly due to our collective lack of experience practicing the art of public transport. However, in my opinion, the larger issue is that, as we learned today, some of the buses have no one and no recording announcing the stops. This is only really a problem when it's pouring rain and impossible to see out the window. So we guess. And we haven't yet been too far off, haven't missed any classes. Should we become disoriented again, we've resolved to ask someone where we are (in Russian).

By the time I got home in the evening, I felt like a cold raisin.

Today, we had our first phonetics class. The teacher talked to us for about thirty minutes in Russian and none of us understood a thing she said. Not knowing what else to do, we stared at her like cows. Then, to our great surprise, she began explaining everything she had been saying in perfect English. I concluded that she must be a native English speaker, but I later learned that she can speak a few languages with virtually any accent due to her thorough training in phonetics. In spite of the rather unpleasant first thirty minutes of class, I actually like her, her attitude, and her refusal to speak to us in English until our inadequacy had been sufficiently established. Similar to studying the violin, when learning a new language, it is necessary to leave one's pride at the door. Or perhaps in the middle of a busy street.

I just completed several hours of домашнее задание homework. I didn't do anything other than try to take the bus home after class today, mostly because I was hoping to get to bed earlier. And then the homework took six times longer than yesterday, and I am back where I started.

Tomorrow is the first day of choir! I am excited.

mini post

No long post today in the interest of sleep, but here are some more photos. Today we saw Петроравловская Крепость Fortress of Peter and Paul, built in 1703 with a gigantic golden spire and intricate detail. Ariel and I went to a sushi bar in the afternoon with Ася Asya and her friend whose name turned out to be Арсен Arsein. I think they are dating. I understood a little bit more of what was said, but really not much at all. It seems impossible that I will ever learn the language, but I am inspired by the success of others. Anyway, it's really nice of them to put up with us and I think it is very helpful to listen to their chatter.

There are so many sushi bars here and they are very cheap!

Class continues to be review. I would complain (in my head) but I don't believe I have a right to until I stop making mistakes. And I had much more success today at Русский стол Russian table, with several conversations complete with mutually understood meaning! Or so I think.

pooped

I've just been kicked out of the kitchen by Наталя Natalia, my host grandmother. When I came home at around 8:30pm, I was promptly fed dinner. I ate rice, chicken, блины blini, bread, and vegetables, the same as each day prior. I'm not sure if I will eat the same food for dinner every night, but I think I will be content should this turn out to be the situation. I have a history of being fine with eating the same thing every day: peanut butter and jelly lunch ages 6 - 18, pasta salad and garlic bread for lunch all of last summer at the farm...when others get sick of something, it just seems to grow on me. A fortunate characteristic that has served me well and, no doubt, will continue to.

Anyway, I was kicked out of the kitchen because we ate dinner с подругой Натале, Гала with Natalia's friend, Gala. After about fifteen minutes, Natalia invited me to go to my room so that she and Гала Gala could talk...in private. I'm not sure why she didn't just start talking at a normal conversational speed, because I certainly would not have understood more than a few words. I have a feeling that had I failed to understand what she meant when she asked me to go away, she would have figured that there was no reason for me to go away. So I passed a little test, maybe.

Наталя Natalia noticed that I have circles under my eyes. I told her, Honestly, I went to sleep at 11! The problem was that I woke up every few hours because of the sun. I think Гала Gala is about to leave because Наталя Natalia just now burst into my room to shine a lamp on my computer screen to help me see it. Anyway, I think the real reason I have circles under my eyes is because I am exhausted from the day.

Class this morning was by far the least of today's challenges. We reviewed the prepositional case, mostly. I'm hoping we don't spend too much time on review. Though if we do, this will also be fine because that which bores me will also become more thoroughly seared into my brain. It would be more exciting to plow forward at breakneck speed, but I have a feeling these people know a thing or two about teaching language.

After class we ate lunch at Русский стол Russian table. There were about forty of us, including students, teachers, and tutors (Russian students) and it was by far the most crowded table at which I have ever sat. Each person was literally squeezed between two other people, elbows in faces, accidentally eating each others' food. I think this exercise will be more productive once the tutors and students have gained some mutual familiarity. Also, I happened to be in a group of really talkative people, which made it difficult to get a sentence in sideways.

After some more classes, I somehow ended up going out with Ariel (male), a student, Ася Asya, a tutor, and two of her friends, Вита Vita and a fellow whose name I didn't catch, but call him Миша Misha. Ariel and I walked with them for a long while, missing 96% of their conversation but smiling and nodding plenty. Once we finally got to a cafe, we sat down and placed our orders. I tried to order зелёный салат green salad, but since they were out of vegetables, I asked for a bowl of борщ borsch. We stayed with them for a very long time, maybe a few hours, as Миша Misha plowed through drinks and cigarettes with admirable aplomb. The girls drank a little, too, and chattered even more excitedly as their drinks disappeared. It was late in the day and I'm pretty sure my fatigue detracted from my comprehension skills. I really did want to sit with and hang out with them; I only hope that they weren't insulted by my perpetual blank stare, from which I deviated only to pretend to get one of their jokes.

I think I'm best in conversation with a Russian one-on-one. When they are in a group, they have little incentive, nor should they, to slow down their speech to accomodate my limitations. But I was definitely able to get a few sentences in. Even though the experience was frustrating at times, the cafe adventure is definitely the type of thing I want to partake in. I'm sure next time I will catch a few more words, especially if I spend time with the same people more than once and adjust to their speech patterns. And if everyone were to spoil me like Наталя Natalia does with ultra-slow speech, I don't think I would learn very quickly.

I'm really glad the tutors want to hang out with us. I suppose we must be intriguing, what with our broken speech, strange clothing and finicky eating habits.

Two accomplishments from today are, in my opinion, worthy of mention: I bought some mouthwash from a store down the street, mainly because I needed some small change, and...we rode on the bus! And got off at the correct stop! Ура!

Today's album is smaller and includes photos of my neighborhood, Smolny College, and the crowded lunch.

settling in, day before classes

I didn't end up exploring the Bay of Finland yesterday. This is primarily because when I wandered into the kitchen at around 10:30pm to announce that I was about to explore the bay of Finland, наталя Natalia started feeding me dinner! We talked for a while during dinner about various things: my family, her дача dacha, a type of vacation hut that all Russians seem to have, my plans for tomorrow (now today), the economic crisis. So I didn't get to sleep until after midnight.

I didn't sleep thoroughly due to a mix of excitement and broad daylight blasting through my large window. I suppose this is something I will get used to.

This morning, Ariel (a boy), Olivia, Jesse (a girl), and Michelle successfully navigated the Metro (the deepest metro in the world) из приморскаей from Primorskaya в Невский проспект to Nevsky Prospect. This was a great accomplishment. We switched lines! We met the rest of the group at the top of the subway and walked to Спас на Крови the Church of the Savior on Spilled Blood. This is a remarkable structure with majestic domes and elaborate mosaic images depicting religious scenes.

After listening to a tour of the Cathedral by the director of our cultural program, Оля Olya, we walked around the nearby Летний Сад Summer Garden, a large green park with canals, statues, trees, and many random flowers popping out of the grass. Оля Olya continued to tell us all about the sights we were seeing. The only thing was that for the duration of the tour, including the Church tour, she spoke in Russian, which made it difficult for me to understand her.

I ate lunch with Ariel, Clare, Kristen, Alex, Olivia, and Kristen's friend from home Colby in a cafe called федерация Federatsiya. I successfully ordered my first Russian food! Almost entirely through luck, I recieved a dish perhaps the most excellent dish imaginable (if you are me). I chose a dish under the рыба fish menu with по-полский Polish in its name. I figured I couldn't go too wrong, so I ordered it. 15 minutes later, the waitress arrived with a smallish piece of white, light fish with...hard boiled eggs on top! I was besides myself.

I met my host sister наташа Natasha today. She is 19 years old and very nice but has a large German test tomorrow! So I am moving about the apartment quietly, like a mouse, so as to not disturb her studies.

I'm a bit antsy right now. I want to go do something exciting, but I have to get sleep so I wake up tomorrow morning for the first day of classes. It is also confusing, and tempting, because it is still very bright outside, but already 10pm. I will resist!

a new home

I am in my room! I just met my host mother, or I suppose host grandmother, and I will meet her granddaughter tomorrow. I am feeling rather stuffed because of the блины blini (crepe-like pastries) with which she stuffed me. She is very friendly! We talked (in Russian) for a while about various things: family, school, what I packed, her granddaughter. Before anything else, she asked about and clarified my dietary restrictions. Not a great deal was said during the conversation because it takes me so long to formulate sentences. But in fact, this is ideal, because it will leave us with plenty to talk about for the next two months.

I don’t know what others’ living situations are, but I can’t imagine how I would ask for anything better than what I seem to have stumbled upon. My room is large, a little large than my room at home, and beautifully furnished. There are several large plants which actually take up a good percentage of the floorspace. Outside my fifth-floor window is a soccer field, some other apartment buildings, and a glimpse of the Bay of Finland a few blocks away. My insulin is safely in the fridge. There is a stand-up piano in my room! Artwork, the type that I actually like, is hanging on the wall. I will take pictures, but I definitely want to ask first if it's OK to do so.

My host grandmother, наталя Natalia, is, from what I gather, a retired teacher of small children. I would be very surprised if this is at all factual, for it is based on a conversation that I had with her in Russian. My strongest evidence to support this claim is her seemingly boundless cheer. As soon as I showed up at her door, she started chattering, showing me around, the light switches, toilet, toaster, my room. Perhaps most notable is her willingness to speak so slowly that I can almost assuredly understand what she is saying, provided that she happens to use words in my meager arsenal. And occasionally, she uses such a word!

The здание apartment building in which I now live possesses a charm of its own. It is large and cement and everything I expected from a Soviet-era construction. наталя Natalia gave me a long tour of the various locks that I need to be aware of when I am leaving and entering her квартира apartment. The surrounding buildings look very similar and I am a bit concerned about my ability to locate the correct building, the one containing an apartment that my keys will open. I had a similar problem during a visit to University of Pennsylvania, where three particular dorms are, to my eye, identical, and arranged in an equilateral triangle.

I think I might explore the Bay of Finland now. I am hoping to find a beach, or perhaps a pier. I will not be disappointed, though. This is not a very touristy neighborhood. According to Lonely Planet, there is no point in visiting this part of Vasilievsky Island. This is certainly not true in my case! But I see how perhaps it is less exciting than other parts of the city.

Lots of other SLI students are in this area, so perhaps some of them will like to come with me on an adventure. I don't intend to stay out late because I am feeling nervous about having to wake up regularly with a sleep deficit.

bullpen

About half of us are being shipped over to our host families and the other half is sitting in the board room, waiting. The board room is where we spent a long segment of today being briefed on all sorts of things: rules, academics, crime in the city, public transport, STDs, and so on.

Before the meeting, we had breakfast in the hotel. There were various meats, cheeses, and sliced tomatoes, cucumbers, and red peppers. I've been trying to sit at different tables with different people for each meal, and I suspect that most of the group has the same idea. I think we're not sure how much we'll see of each other once classes start and we're all spread out throughout the city. Not to mention the elephant-sized language pledge in the room, which we all signed today and takes effect on Monday. Though some English is allowed in certain places, I think most of us are going to try to avoid it altogether. So we'll see how that goes.

We met our language tutors today. We didn't really meet them; rather, they were at the long meeting and introduced themselves in Russian. They are Russian students which I think will be helping us with homework and going on cultural excursions with us.

Originally, I was planning on singing in the Russian Choir, which I think will be really fun. But at the meeting, I also signed up for the acting program, in which we will put together performances of Chekhov. Though my acting experience is limited to performances of Guys and Dolls and Music Man in 6th and 8th grade, respectively, I don't know of anyone else who is really serious about acting. Or singing, for that matter. When I first heard of the Russian Choir, I assumed it would be really big and full of Russian students, but it's seeming more like it will just be people from the program, which will make it much smaller and more intimate.

No particularly interesting pictures today, since most of it was spent being lectured. Here, instead, is a photo of some 10pm daylight!

First night

Obviously still jetlagged and not dealing with it in the most responsible way imaginable (I am still awake). But also not the most irresponsible way imaginable.

It is close enough to the summer solstice that darkness never truly sets in St. Petersburg and stars do not appear. At 11pm, the first signs of dusk appear and at around 1:15am, we could tell that it was starting to get light again. It is a very, very strange situation. I suppose everyone just gets used to it and puts on blinders if they need them to sleep.

Much of today was spent on a bus. We took a three hour bus tour of the city, but unfortunately, most everyone was so jetlagged and sleep-deprived that most of us slept for a good chunk. Every 30 minutes or so, they would force us out of the bus to take pictures, which I suspect was a ploy to wake us up. I'm glad they did, because sleeping through the entire tour was not really my aim.

Evan and I, the two students with violins, had a mighty fiasco at customs. We each filled out the declaration form about five times because the customs person would point out 0nly one mistake each time. For anyone traveling into Russia, the dollar sign goes after the numeral. I then left my one piece of checked luggage in the baggage claim area because I was so fixated on the violin. Marching triumphantly towards the group which had waited a good 45 minutes for us, one of the program leaders said, "you don't have any luggage??" I ran back to baggage claim and saw my baggage nowhere. Though I could have panicked in English, I decided that the time had come for my first functional Russian sentence in conversation. I found someone dressed in uniform and announced:

я закрыл мы багаж! I forgot my luggage!

To which they said, браун! Brown! To which I said, да! Yes!

And they showed me to my luggage. No one in the group seemed very upset by the delay I caused. I think we've all come to expect, in the short time we've been here, delays, usually caused by one of our one, at every juncture. In fact, they seemed to think the situation quite funny.

Tomorrow we will all meet our host families! I am very excited. I don't intend to use English with them. I hope they are cooperative. I expect living with a host family to be my most formidable adventure, though having been in St. Petersburg for less than 24 hours, I'm not really in a position to say what my most formidable adventure will be.

A number of us have commented that it doesn't really feel like we're in another country. Though Russian is written and spoken first and the architecture is like nothing found in the United States, we really haven't had to deal with it. Our language pledge has not yet taken effect and most everything has been taken care of for us. I expect, and hope, that this will change once we move in with our families and start to move around the city on our own.

Here is a link to my photos from the flight and the first day for anyone who doesn't use facebook. For people who do use facebook, photos are on facebook.

I should note that the group continues to be very friendly! Everyone is learning everyone else's names very quickly. The group dynamic will, I predict, change dramatically one the language pledge begins and certain individuals such as myself will be rendered incoherent. How exciting!

To Helsinki!

I just finished watching Garden State, a film I’ve seen once before. There is a large selection of movies on this plane! I can’t go from one movie right to another though, so I’m taking a break. Perhaps I will get distracted from the movies and study Russian, which was my original plan for this flight.

We are flying on FinnAir, so all announcements are in Finnish and English. I was seriously hoping that our meal would consist of Finnish fare, but I’m pretty sure the chicken, salad, and mushrooms were not particularly Finnish. Alas.

We are a little less than halfway to Helsinki. Right now, we are flying over the tip of Greenland! I think I might be looking at a vague outline of Greenland in the distance, but there is considerable cloud cover and the pre-dawn light is minimal. However, about an hour ago I saw icebergs! At first I thought they were just ice chunks, but then I remembered that we are flying at ~35,000 feet (11,277 m).

The group seems really friendly. We spent a long time together in the airport before departure which was good for some preliminary bonding. Proto-bonding. I’m sitting next to Clare Browne, a girl from Hamilton College who lives in a town not far from Niskayuna! Though our last names are spelled differently, they have the same pronunciation.

I should take a moment to outline terminology. The program we’re in is called SLI (Summer Language Intensive). The college we’re studying at is Smolny College, established only a few years ago with support from Bard College as “the first liberal arts college in Russia”. So, eight weeks of language courses, cultural excursions, and exploring the city. All the while attempting to speak Russian.

Greenland! We can see Greenland out the window! I’ve definitely never been this close to the North Pole.

I think I might buy some overpriced Finnish food in the Helsinki airport. I really don’t know what Finnish food consists of. I’m guessing fish. If I ever make it back to Russia on my own after this summer, I’m definitely going to make some time to hang out in Helsinki. I hear it’s hopping.

I am without a cell phone for the first time in a really long time. I left it with my parents at the Albany Airport because it won’t work abroad and they’re giving us phones for Russia. I could have kept it with me and just left it in my luggage, but then I probably would have lost it. Anyway, it was fascinating to be sitting in JFK for a few hours with no chance of receiving an incoming text or call. Imagine ten years ago, they didn’t give everyone cell phones during abroad programs. They just kept track of each other, somehow, perhaps with less freedom and more planning. Or maybe more freedom and less planning.

get me your address

I am all packed for Russia! Everything is stuffed into one suitcase and one backpack. I will leave tomorrow morning: Albany to JFK where I'll meet the group, then to Helsinki, Finland, then to St. Petersburg. The only sad part is that our layover in Helsinki is only an hour...I was hoping to wander around a bit and maybe interact with some Finns. Maybe some other time.

I expect that for the next eight weeks, my blog will be much more interesting than it usually is!

I will write regularly, but I'm not sure what the internet situation will be. So if I don't have internet, I'll just keep writing and post all at once when I get a chance. I'll also bring my camera and post some of the good pictures on here.

If you haven't already, get me your address! I intend to write lots and lots of postcards, so if you send me your summer address, you will definitely get a postcard (or ten) in return.

As a point of interest, here is the weather in St. Petersburg for the next little while!

Clearly I don't feel like going to bed, even though I'm supposed to get up early tomorrow. My two bags are packed, zipped, and set, but I've allocated a generous amount of time to remember the things that I forgot to pack.

decompression

Sitting at home...it's very quiet here, aside from the low hum of the atomic power lab a few blocks away. But Williamstown, too, is probably quite sleepy at this point. Reunions haven't started yet, most of the grads have cleared out, summer workers mostly start on the 15th.

Today was a day of appointments. My orthodontist and dentist disagree about whether my wisdom teeth should come out, so I think I'll keep them.

None of my possessions remain in Williamstown. Even though finals ended a few weeks ago, I feel as though I couldn't truly unwind until now that everything, including myself, is home. Only for a few days.

I'd like to pack lightly for Russia. I've never really packed lightly before. Going to school, I can just toss everything I think I'll need in the car and drive over. It will be important and perhaps refreshing to separate myself from my possessions without which I can, in fact, survive for eight weeks.

I've decided to bring my violin. For a while, I was thinking that I wouldn't. It would be bizarre and wonderful to be known, at least for a little while, as something other than Leo the Violinist. Also, I don't know how much time I will have to play. As Noah pointed out, I don't want to spend the whole trip feeling guilty about not practicing enough.

For this reason, I won't be taking lessons. I want to be able to spend time with my homestay family, the other students on the trip, and anyone else I meet. I don't want to bend the experience of the trip to be more like my normal life.

So I guess I haven't said why I'm taking it. My thought is that if there is some street band or something that would have me, I'd kick myself hard if I didn't bring Steve (my violin). Though I probably won't bring Steve, he's a rather finicky traveler. Having a violin teacher for a mom, there is no shortage of instruments lying around the house that I could lift for a few weeks, instruments with their share of bumps and bruises.

I'm really glad I stayed for graduation. I think I'll stay next year. There's something about playing ridiculous band music that seems so fitting, a final salute to the grads. Williams is going to be pretty different by the time I get back, eight months from now.

second pond!

Today on the farm, my second-to-last day of this two week stint, I had probably my worst delivery to date. It wasn't the end of the world, and everyone was happy, but I felt a little ridiculous when I pulled up to the farm and realized that Mezze's entire order was still in the trunk. So I sped back into town, wasted some time and gas, and at least I got them the correct case of lettuce.

Last year, my biggest problem was that I would forget to look at my labels on the lettuce boxes to see which were for which restaurant. Again, the problem was with Mezze, the only restaurant that had any special request about which types of lettuce they ordered.

I went to sleep last night accidentally. Before midnight, probably the first time in months that that has happened. Noah woke me up at around 1:30 because I was apparently lying on my sheets with the light on and a book on my face. So after I realized that it wasn't morning and I wasn't going to be shoved into the farm van and whisked away, I brushed my teeth and dove into the covers.

I discovered the second pond today! If even once last year I had walked ten feet past the place where I dumped hundreds of pounds of weeds, I would have discovered the second pond. It is significantly murkier than the first one. I think it is a naturally occurring pond.

housing

No frost. Well, a little, but it didn't seem to do any damage. Apparently, if it's only a little below 32 degrees, the frost isn't so thorough.

I have my housing assignment for St. Petersburg! I will be living in a large cement apartment building just a couple of blocks from the ocean. In fact, I can post the link which is how I determined how far from the ocean it is. I'll be living with an older woman and her 19 year old granddaughter. I guess there is no point in commenting further on my living situation until I am living there.

frost?

We spent all of today protecting the farm from frost. Still, probably more than half of the farm remains unprotected. The tomatoes, peppers, and zucchini/yellow squash are covered with either buckets or tarp. But materials are limited, so I suppose many of the plants will die if there is indeed a frost. The forecast is for a low of 34 in Williamstown proper, so with the rise in elevation on the way to the farm, it will be just around 32.

Of course, if it doesn't frost, we will feel silly for having spent the entire day covering the zucchini with buckets. But that's how it goes.

Yesterday, I read the first chapter of The Grapes of Wrath three times. This repetition was mostly because I kept falling asleep. I definitely don't blame the book, and I don't think this was entirely the result of sleep deprivation, for a change. The main thing was that I was trying to read in very sleepy locales: atop a sunny picnic table, in my bed, in my bed the next morning. I think when I read tonight before sleep, I will start with the second chapter.

The seniors are starting to return from their week in Hilton Head, South Carolina. Not all of them went to Hilton Head...I've heard of trips to Nova Scotia, Lake Huron, and some stayed on campus. Senior Week begins on Tuesday, a week to which I have not been invited, but hopefully I will know enough seniors to be able to participate. I was on campus at this time last year, but I only knew about four seniors, so I largely avoided the large gatherings of people.

Last year, when I heard of the senior trip to SC, I didn't really see the point of it. To me, it seemed extravagant and indulgent. I think my opinion of the situation has not changed so drastically, but I'm starting to think that it will be an experience that I indulge in when I am a senior. For much of my life until now, I have considered myself above such communal experiences: aloof, self-contained, independent. I think this phase of my life might be ending. Perhaps it has already ended. Maybe by the time I'm a senior, it won't make as much sense to spend a week gallivanting around Hilton Head; this is something I will know when it comes around. But I think there will be times, and perhaps this will be one of them, when I am willing to compromise my sensibilities in favor of arguably unnecessary socialization.

Because considered in isolation, any socialization could be construed as unnecessary. But then where would I be? In Sawyer, doing homework? Practicing my violin? Both of these things I love to do, but I'm not sure that I would be better off without breaks.

Luggage Mentality

It just got really cold. A couple of hours ago I was baking in the sun and now I am taking cover in my dorm.

We only worked today until lunch, I suppose because it's Saturday. This was probably the most ideal weather so far, a relief after several days of moisture. The storm that has been threatening, both in the forecast and sky, for the last few days, never materialized. Or maybe it did while I slept.

Today after work, Noah and I attempted to teach each other languages. He mostly tried to teach me German, which I remember very little of after my year of high school German. I think the Russian crowded it out of my brain, an organ of finite capacity. I'd like to learn all of the languages, but I don't think that is possible. Especially since I'd be starting so late.

I'll only be in Williamstown for another week, and then I won't return until some time next winter. Once the farm routine has been established, weeks pass really quickly. It's a sort of Luggage Mentality, a concept which I think I invented and into which I put much stock.

According to the Doctrine of Luggage Mentality, if you are on a long car trip and you have an itch on your foot, it's best not to scratch it. As soon as you scratch it, you will have another itch five minutes later. This cycle will continue until you are hot and uncomfortable, and then after a little while, you will be hot, uncomfortable, and itchy instead of just itchy.

If you hold very still and imagine that you are a piece of luggage in cargo, if you separate your mind from its temple, your body, long car trips can be endured with less turmoil. Similarly, in a routine of manual labor, I can count on my body to continue its task, day in and day out, and time moves on forward.

I do enjoy working on the farm, and it's not as though I want it to end quickly. But somehow it is rewarding to transcend the passage of time, to skip through the weeks as if they will never end.

Summer plans intact!

I just heard from the director of the St. Petersburg program that they will be able to process my visa in time. So I will be allowed to go!

I was getting really worried. Not in a panicky way. I just was starting to think that they wouldn't let me go. I'm not sure what I would have done. There were definitely options. It certainly would not have been the worst thing in the world for me to live at home and get a job at Bruegger's, the type of thing that I've never actually done before. But I'm very glad it worked out.

I think I almost died last night of sleep deprivation. Noah and I were listening to Figaro at around midnight. He was reading the libretto (words) and I decided to close my eyes. This was all fine, but I hadn't yet brushed my teeth. So I got up and stumbled to the bathroom. I was more exhausted, I think, then I've been all semester. Something about it was different from all the times I accidentally fell asleep in Goodrich.

I suspect it had something to do with the 4,600 peppers we had planted earlier in the day. My butt is really sore.

I finally fell asleep, but Alex G. called me at around 12:45 am, rightly expecting that I would be awake. I wasn't, so I jumped up when the phone rang and picked up. He sensed that I had just woken up and wanted me to go back to sleep, but I didn't. I didn't want to wake up Noah, so I moved quietly towards my room, but accidentally walked straight into Noah's room.

When I woke up in the morning, I couldn't find my glasses. The problem was compounded by the fact that I can't see without my glasses. Eventually, Noah found them in the bottom of my luggage bag. I have no clue how they might have ended up there.

I'm not sure if this story even makes sense. The other thing that was strange is that I refused to sleep in my bed because I hadn't put sheets on earlier and I was too exhausted to even think about it. So I slept on Noah's sleeping bag in our common room. The whole experience felt like it was slightly out of my control.

Today at the farm, Bill (the farmer) had us get water out of tires, which is surprisingly difficult since at most orientations, the tires have some way of keeping the water in. The best technique was to throw them on the ground with great force so that a little would splash out.

farm

Today on the farm, we planted 4,600 peppers. Now I am sitting in Tyler, my new dorm, in my underwear because I haven't yet been inspired to shower. Noah and I are sharing a double that is more like a common room with two tiny "bedrooms" attached. We are going to move the mattresses into the common room and have slumber parties every night.

Almost almost done

...with the year. I'm sitting in the basement of Sawyer (library) about to complete my final assignment. Apparently for the music theory presentation from a couple of weeks ago, I was supposed to have written a paper on what I said. A sort of historical record - evidence that I said anything at all.

Sawyer is largely vacant at this time of year. Only a few people have tests remaining and the weather is very nice today. I'm not feeling particularly devastated by the fact that I am stuck in the library finishing work a full 24 hours after I thought I would be done. I've done a lot of interacting with other humans over the past couple of days and I am feeling refreshed by the sterile silence of this space.

I just wrote an email to the Student Symphony listserve inviting them to watch Amadeus tonight. I also mentioned that I wouldn't be conducting next year, information that I think is news to most of them. Though I guess people perhaps figured out that I would be abroad. So when I get back in the spring, I will rejoin the violin section full-time.

I think that aside from all of the reasons I have for not conducting (time, stress, kind of just want to play the violin) one big consideration is that even though I like conducting, there's really no reason for me to prevent someone else from conducting after I've been doing it for an entire year. I think I might stick with it if there weren't any other capable and willing prospective conductors, but there are, so why the hell should I hog the podium.

A friend from my entry has joined me at my table. Sort of ruins the silent solitude, but I've had about enough of that for now.

smelt fry!

My friend Lauren and I had a smelt fry the other night. We've been meaning to have a smelt fry for about a month now, and we finally bought the (frozen) smelt a couple of weeks ago. In case anyone is unsure, smelt are miniature fishes. Breaded with some spices and fried in some oil, they are very delicious! I did not mean for this to happen, but I find myself craving fried smelt as I type.

Assuming that the visa fiasco is resolved, my dad was saying that upon my return to the states, we should have a celebratory smelt fry in the back yard. There's just something about fried smelt that brings a smile to my face, warms my spirits. I suggested to Lauren that I could run a smelt fry at her graduation party, and for reasons I have not yet determined, she asked that I not.

I'd really like to fry some smelt tonight, but I have to work on this darned paper.

Lewiston Smelt Festival

impending fiasco

So apparently, when we sent in my old passport to apply for my Russian travel visa, we accidentally sent in my old old passport from when I was a little kid. They told me we would probably be able to get my visa in time for me to participate in the program so long as my parents overnight the correct passport today...I've already come up with a backup plan for the summer, to ask Bill Stinson if I can work on his farm again. And if that doesn't work, maybe I can get a job at the Schenectady JCC pool.

This alternate plan (either alternate plan) would certainly have some advantages and perks...but I'm not sure. It would be a bummer if the visa doesn't go through.

I haven't had anything to eat today. I have to play a friend's string quartet composition at 10:45, in 15 minutes, for a recording. And then the music department bar-b-que!

The Scoop

Right now, I'm in the middle of writing an article for The Scoop, the monthly dining services newsletter. My friend Betsy is the Editor-in-Chief so I'm writing a piece about Driscoll naan and how delicious it is. I'm flopped on one of the couches in Paresky, listening to a Mozart piano concerto.

Everyone else is very busy with finals and papers, but I don't really have much left to work on. So I'm left flopping around in Paresky writing articles about naan. It's so delicious!

Soon I will depart for Russia! I intend to write lots of letters. So...if any of you want a letter from me, you should give me your summer address! I will definitely write letters to anyone who gives me a summer address. I probably won't have many opportunities to talk on the phone and I think I might avoid Skype, so letter-writing will be my primary contact with home.

Skype...one thing is that I've never used it and I'm not sure how to use it. But also, I think it will be helpful for "immersion" to not be holed up in my room, on my computer, on Skype. Letter-writing, for instance, even though it's not a particularly social activity, can be done in someone's living room, in some public space, or whatever.

The thing is, I really have no idea what things will be like. When I say "in someone's living room", I'm thinking of the family I will live with...perhaps they will sit around in the evening reading books or a newspaper, at which point I could sit around with them and write postcards. But perhaps this is just a fantasy.

I'm playing in the commencement band this year. But the violins have been switched from flute parts to clarinet parts...which means we have to transpose!! For anyone who doesn't know, that means the notes that are written are all a certain interval above or below the ones you play. This is very confusing for string players who never have to transpose! Steve, the conductor, is going to transpose the parts for us, but I told him not to transpose mine. This will be a good opportunity for me to learn how to transpose, and I know how some of the melodies sound already, so it won't be so bad. Right now it sounds very funny at rehearsals because half of the time, I forget I'm supposed to be transposing.

I really enjoy playing at commencement. I think of it as my personal, final salute to the graduating class. At Williams, the procession of the graduates is led by a band of bagpipes. We, the band, play in unison with the bagpipes, but we are sitting at the graduates' point of arrival. So sometimes we're not completely coordinated as the bagpipers approach, usually due to complications relating to the speed of sound. But it worked out well enough last year.

Cosi fan tutte

I'm in my room. I just walked back from the Williams Opera performance of Mozart's Cosi fan tutte (Act I). Much of this work is riveted in my brain since I performed the entire work five times this summer and then excerpts with WO over Winter Study. Not that I play in operas all that often, but lately, everyone seems to be programming Cosi. While it would be nice to diversify a bit, I'm happy how things have worked out. I've come to really love the piece; it has truly become a part of me.

I'd like to go to the music party now, but it's pouring rain outside. I have a giant umbrella so it shouldn't be too much of a problem. Or maybe it's not the rain. Maybe I just want to be in my room for a bit to catch my breath.

The year is ending so quickly! I really want to have another Student Symphony get-together, but time is short. I need to find a movie for us to watch. Suggestions?

This morning I sat at breakfast for a super long time with three friends, two of whom will be gone next year. I almost wrote "whill" instead of "will". We watched as the Dining Services staff switched everything from breakfast to lunch. I don't think we caused too much of an inconvenience since we stopped eating at least an hour before we left. As I sat, every twenty minutes or so I would sit up straight in my chair as my mind churned through all the things that maybe I should be doing in lieu of my vegetation...but I never came upon anything particularly pressing. So I sat and talked and ate bananas. I guess I didn't stop eating bananas an hour before I left, but those just stay out.

As I walked back to my dorm, I came upon a bit of a laundry crisis (not to mention my shower crisis). These challenges I met with ease and panache.

Shapeshift

This is another "break from work" post. I have to write a ten-page paper by tomorrow morning that I haven't started. Not to be melodramatic about it. I've thought about it a decent amount and I've got some time to work. My main concern is that I'll spontaneously fall asleep and then wake up after the paper was due. I just woke up from a 15-minute power nap. The type of nap that was going to happen whether I wanted it or not, so best to set my alarm and call it a power nap.

For my English class, we've read approximately ten books of poetry/prose during the semester. I've chosen to write about Shapeshift by Sherwin Bitsui. He is a Diné (Navajo) author and has written poetry/prose about Navajo Nation and, happily for me, the specific area that I visited over spring break. So I am having a lot of fun reading and rereading the poems, thinking of things to think about, maybe to write, and finding connections between different elements of the text. It's very exciting when I recognize a name, place, or idea. Or even just the landscape.

In Shapeshift, Bitsui writes about language. The Diné (Navajo) language is dying as the younger generation increasingly learns English first in order to participate competitively in contemporary US society:

Five years ago, my language hit me like saw-toothed birds reaching to pull my tongue from my mouth. I didn’t know what to expect when my grandmother poured gasoline on the leaves and then fired it, saying, This is the last time I’ll ever harvest. It was the way the sunset caught her cracked lips, the way her lips folded inward, which made me realize that there were still stories within her that needed to be told, stories of when we still wove daylight onto our bones and did not live like we do now, as night people.

Bitsui repeatedly evokes imagery of blood, often contaminated, spine, marrow, tongue, veins, and nerves. In this excerpt, Bitsui incorporates myriad elements but with striking economy of language:

When one dreams of a mouth covered in white chalk,
speaking only in English,
it is a voice that wants to be cut free from a country whose veins swim with axes
and scissors.

Just for the record, I really don't like literary analysis. I took this class because I've never liked literary analysis and I thought maybe that would change. It has a tiny bit. I'm less afraid of it now, anyway. But it's really not my thing. So I'm surprised and happy to be enthused about the paper.

I only have two classes left tomorrow. After that, I won't have another class at Williams until next February. I also had my last Jewboard meeting until next February. Weird!

no more changes

I'm taking a short break from work. So this post can't take as long as they usually do.

My piece, an elaborate, edited version of my April 16 post, came out today in Monkeys with Typwriters, a non-fiction essay magazine at Williams. Some people have told me that they liked it, but I'm not so sure about the whole thing. After having spent a while editing and tweaking the story, it feels somewhat contrived. The whole process also brought back nasty memories of writing essays for college applications.

Though I have mixed feelings about the whole ordeal, I think I might do it again. Now that I've been through it once, the instinctive shock of revealing a rather personal occurrance to the whole campus might not be so disturbing. And given how much I appreciate and enjoy some of the other pieces, I'm sure someone must get something out of mine.

If no one gets anything out of mine, I blame the editors for publishing it in the first place.

It really is different than blog-writing. I mean to say, regardless of whether it is different, it really does feel different. I don't know why. If anything, a blog more public. Maybe it's because I know that on here, I have a regular readership of about twelve (Hi, regular readership!), while a big chunk of the campus at least glances at Monkeys.

But I am rather surprised that I feel this way. I didn't think I would really care. I suppose it was particularly jarring to see them lying around because I had been meaning to email one of the editors asking him when was the absolute latest I could make some changes.

I'm learning Morse code. So far, I can tap my name. If anyone reading this knows Morse code, please tell me so! We can practice with each other. Or if anyone wants to learn with me. Right now I am very lonely because no one understands my tapping. I tapped, "Hi, Zina!" to Zina, and she just stared at me blankly.

crazy glasses?

It's surprising how something that I thought I didn't care about can blow up when someone else thinks I care about the thing. And of course, if I reiterate that I don't care about the thing, then it just seems like I'm in denial. And by now, I've spent so much time thinking about the thing that I've started to genuinely care about it. I'm so malleable.

I haven't supplied any details about this particular thing, partially because I don't feel like it and partially because I suspect the principle applies to a variety of things.

Perhaps all of this means I should care less about what people think.

I think caring about what other people think is underrated. Of course I don't mean that you (or I) should always act to please others. But it seems like even thinking about, considering what other people think is taboo. I'm not sure I understand why.

For example, the last time I went to get new glasses frames after my old ones broke, I wanted to get a pair with thick circular rims. I thought it was a great idea, but then I became a bit self-conscious thinking about what other people might think. Each time I met a new person, he or she would almost certainly notice my glasses first. This prospect worried me. I cut my hair for the same reason. I don't want people to judge me based on my appearance, so I maintain a rather bland appearance. Sure, then some people think I'm bland, but I think this is an easier first impression to surmount.

Maybe not. I'm not even sure if this is an effective approach. Now that I think about it, lots of people do think I'm bland at first. I'm pretty sure lots of the people who hang out with me have concluded that I'm somewhat less bland than they originally thought. So maybe I should go get some crazy glasses and people will be primed to think I'm interesting. I don't know why I said blandness is an easier first impression to surmount. That doesn't make any sense.

And somehow, I'm back to caring about what people think. I think most people do.

Perhaps if someone can convince me that I care about something, it means that I in fact did care about the thing all along and I just hadn't admitted it to myself.

impending return to the farm

Tonight is the sophomore dinner and formal. All of the sophomores are supposed to go and bond. I might not stay for very long at the formal...not to mention that I usually end up leaving from that sort of thing early, I've a good amount of work to finish on Sunday. But supposedly they will feed me salmon at the dinner.

It's starting to look like summer around here. I found a 2009 Williamstown Theatre Festival brochure lying around. I only saw one show last summer: Not Waving, written by Ellen Melaver. The poster is on my wall. Mimi and I kept trying to get to a show, but I was always dirty and tired after the farm and there were lots of other things to do (make food, track down Trevor and Alicia, practice, read). We finally made it over in August during one of the many nights punctuated by 5:00 thunder.

When the thunder came a bit earlier, it would signify the end of our workday at the farm. Probably more than half of the days last summer we would be assaulted by torrential rain for 20 minutes or so, to be immediately followed by beautiful clear skies with some pinkish clouds as the sun settled. When it rained heavily on the farm, a furious flood of water raced across the trenches that surround the field and then into the woods, down the valley.

It's so completely bizarre for me to think that I'll be back on the farm in just a couple of weeks. A year has gone by since my first day last summer and my sophomore year has barrelled through my life as I once knew it. Of late, I have distracted myself from the broad passage of time in so many directions by means which I suspect, to varying degrees, are irreversible.

approaching the year's end

And suddenly, for a brief and glorious interval, everything stops. I am sitting in Sawyer with very little to do. Certainly nothing is due tomorrow and I'll have some free time this weekend to get everything else done. I am surrounded by zombie workers who, perhaps, think I am writing a paper.

I spent much of today at the J chopping tomatoes for the salsa for the Friday night dinner. Since no one else was there for most of the time, I was allowed to choose music! I listened to all four Brahms symphonies. I miss Noah, with whom I studied Brahms symphonies in our conducting class. They made him so happy.

I ate dinner with good company at a picnic table in the middle of Paresky lawn. I keep thinking about how in a few weeks, a good chunk of the sophomore class will disappear from my life for something like 14 months. I've been slowly learning from people, mostly in passing conversation, that they'll be gone for the entire year or for the spring, when I will be not gone.

Maybe this is why I have been being so sociable lately. Well, one of the reasons.

No time to waste, eh?

Not to mention the seniors. I wonder how many of them I will stay in touch with. Though I liked or admired many of them, I didn't really connect with any of the '08 seniors. I'd like to think that this year has been different, at least in certain cases.